Detroit Area Wedding Guide
The Wedding Rehearsal and Dinner
The Wedding Rehearsal and Dinner
There are normally two parts to every wedding rehearsal. First, everyone involved in the actual wedding practices or rehearses the ceremony at the church with the officiant. The next part is the dinner afterwards for the couple, the wedding party, the immediate families of the bride and groom, out of town guests, the officiant and any singers or musicians that are not being paid to perform. An example might be the organist at the church.
What is the Purpose of the Rehearsal and Dinner
The main reason for holding a rehearsal before the wedding is many people only get married once in their lifetime and really do not know what to expect. The rehearsal allows everyone in the wedding party to become familiar with the location, to know when to start walking down the aisle, how fast to walk down the aisle and what to do when they reach the altar.
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The rehearsal gives the officiant a chance to interact with the bride and groom before the wedding day and offers them some insight into the ceremony itself. For children in the wedding party, it will ease their fears a little as well since they will see in advance what is expected of them. The rehearsal, however, is not a dress rehearsal. Everyone attends as they are dressed in their normal clothes.
The rehearsal dinner is an opportunity for the parents of the groom to express their well wishes to the bride and groom and publicly thank the parents of the bride for hosting the wedding. It also gives the wedding party and immediate families a chance to meet before the wedding especially if they have never met before.
When is the Rehearsal
Typically, the rehearsal will be held the night before the wedding. If there is a conflict in scheduling, it may be held a little sooner but always within the last week before the actual wedding day. It is usually assumed that after the rehearsal, everyone will carry on to the rehearsal dinner location.
Children and the Rehearsal Dinner
Children that are part of the wedding party are normally included in both the rehearsal and the dinner. Their parents should be invited as well to the dinner to help with young children especially. A thoughtful idea to keep the children occupied is an activity kit. Children become bored and tired very fast so get them a little bag with some things to do or little toys with which to play. All of this can be purchased inexpensively at the discount store and will be worth it when things are not on schedule at the church.
Are Spouses of Attendants Invited
It is always nice to have one's spouse at one's side for a dinner or party. But attendants should not assume that their spouses are automatically invited to the rehearsal party. An invitation would depend solely on the hosts. If the dinner is being served at a restaurant or another venue as a sit-down meal, it may be a financial imposition to expect invitations for the spouses. On the other hand, a family barbecue or buffet type meal may offer the type of environment where it is okay for spouses to attend. Either way, if the host does not specifically invite spouses, ask the bride or groom before showing up with another guest for the meal. But do not make the hosts or the bride and groom feel obligated to say it is okay.
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Themes for the Rehearsal Dinner
While it is not necessary to have a specific theme for the dinner, if you do decide on a theme, it does not have to be elaborate. If you choose, invitations may be sent, decorations may be displayed and the food may match the theme. Written invitations are not expected and a telephone call to the participants is sufficient to provide the details of the evening.
Make a list of everyone who should be attending the rehearsal along with the details of which everyone should be made aware and mark each person off the list as you telephone them. In some cases, if there are many people or you do not know everyone, you can ask others for help. Be sure to give explicit details if required. For example, is the person permitted to bring a guest?
Points of Etiquette
The groom's parents host the Rehearsal Dinner or Party.
The father of the groom will toast the happy couple.
Traditionally, the bride and groom present the attendant gifts to the wedding party and anyone they choose to recognize who have helped with the wedding planning. Toasts or small speeches should be prepared in advance.
The rehearsal dinner should be "down-played" and should not overshadow the wedding in extravagance
There may be many toasts offered to the couple at the rehearsal dinner and the groom should stand and thank each person offering the toast.
If the rehearsal and dinner cannot be held the night before the wedding, it should be held at least in the week preceding the wedding day.
The groom should mingle and talk briefly with everyone.
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