Detroit Area Wedding Guide
Plan your Engagement Party
The Engagement Party
What is an Engagement Party
Once a couple has officially declared their love and commitment to one another, their families will want to announce the happy event to the rest of the family and close friends. Thus, an engagement party may be held. Because the bride's family is usually responsible for the wedding, they usually host the engagement party. In some instances, the groom's family will hold their own party as well. This is particularly true when the families live some distance apart. If the bride's family is not able to hold the party, then friends of the couple may do so.
What is the Purpose of the Engagement Party
Traditionally, the specific reason to hold the engagement party was to help form relationships between the two families. It gave the family members a chance to meet each other and to congratulate the happy couple together.
|
When to Hold the Party
It is generally a good idea to hold the engagement party after the couple has been engaged for at least a month or two. This will give them the opportunity to enjoy their time together as an engaged couple. Also, it will give them a chance to discuss a little bit about their wedding so they have something about which to talk when people start asking questions and congratulating them.
Where to Hold the Party
The engagement party can be as informal as a backyard picnic or as formal as a black tie event. The type of party and where it is held will depend on the hosts' preferences. It is not necessary for the engagement party to be an all-out extravaganza like the wedding, it is only important to invite all the necessary people, offer refreshments and enjoy each other's company.
For some hosts, it may be easier to book a hall and order catering while others have family members help with the cooking and may decide to put on a buffet at their own home. The key is to do what is comfortable and let everyone else know the game plan.
How to Invite the Guests
Invitations appropriate to the type of party should be sent out at least three weeks in advance. Presumably before choosing the date, the hosts have checked with the bride and groom so that the couple can find out whether close friends and family are available on a particular date. On the invitations, state what type of party it is. You do not want to make anyone feel uncomfortable by assuming that they should wear formal attire and they show up casual. Also, request an RSVP from each guest so that you know how much food to prepare or order.
If the bride's family is hosting the party, they may decide not to send out invitations to their own family but rather call their relatives on the telephone. While this is acceptable for family, it is most likely preferable to send written invitations to the other side of the family especially if you have never met.
|
|
Points of Etiquette:
The bride's parents generally host the Engagement Party while the groom's parents host the Rehearsal Dinner. It is true, however, that both sides of the couple may offer a party to announce the engagement to their respective family members, friends and business associates.
It is not normally acceptable to invite people to the engagement party who are not invited to the wedding. If people are invited to the engagement party and then no wedding invitation arrives, they will probably assume they did something wrong. It is best to avoid the potential of causing hard feelings and awkward moments. An exception to this rule would be if the wedding itself will be a small private affair. Those at the engagement party would then understand that the party is their chance to celebrate with the happy couple.
Gifts are not expected nor should be solicited at an engagement party but some people may still bring a small token of congratulations. If the hosts are worried that someone may not be sure about whether a gift is required or not, specifically say in the invitation "No Presents Please". If, however, some guests do bring gifts, open the presents afterwards so those who did not offer gifts do not feel out of place. And of course, the bride and groom must remember to send thank you notes.
Plan an engagement party that is comfortable. Do not try to upstage or outdo the other family, as this is not a contest. If your family is accustomed to black tie affairs, and the other family is less formal, then try to plan an event that will work for both.
It is customary for the bride's father to make a toast to the bride and groom. He announces their engagement once all the guests have arrived or have been seated at the table to eat.
|
