Detroit Area Wedding Guide
Announcing the Engagement
Announcing the Engagement
That magical moment has finally arrived. The moment a girl has dreamed about since she was a little girl. A marriage proposal to which she says yes. Now the time has come to announce the engagement to the whole world. And this is one part of the wedding process that etiquette is important. Thought should be given to the order in which the couple tell people about the engagement.
Indeed, the proposal and engagement are an exciting time and most people want to shout it out like the town crier. But resist the temptation to tell others until you have notified your family and closest friends. Breaking the good news to your parents should come before people at the office. You would not feel very nice if someone else saw your parents and inadvertently said something before you had the chance.
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In addition to parents, if you have children, they should know before others in the family as this event will be affecting their lives. Assure small children that they are still loved and this does not change your relationship with them. Your sisters, brothers, grandparents, aunts and uncles are usually next. And your best friend will want to know right away as well. In many cases a woman will have spoken to her best friend already but let her know that it is a secret until you tell your family. Once the people who are dear to you are informed, then basically, you can let others know.
How you let people know is important as well. Remember that senior members of the family view an engagement as a very special event. Not following etiquette will result in hurt feelings so always ask yourself if your actions are proper and considerate of other people's feelings. Your family should be told in person if close by or by telephone if long distance. After you have let them know in person, you can email pictures of the ring on your finger and maybe a picture of the happy betrothed couple.
Make announcing you engagement a fun affair. Use it to start your wedding day planning and kick off the next phase in your life. Lastly, when the bride and groom tell their parents, both the bride and groom should be present.
Family Party or Gathering - Family parties, reunions and gatherings are a great way to announce the engagement. It gives the bride and groom a chance to mingle with everyone and allows him or her to meet members of the other family. Sometimes, you might hold one gathering for the bride's family and another party for the groom's family or one big gathering is possible. It will really depend on how close people live to one another.
Personal Wedding Website - People love to see pictures and the internet is a great place for socializing. As soon as you are engaged, create a wedding site online and maintain it throughout the whole wedding process so that everyone can stay updated.
Newspaper Social Section - While it is true that people are reading print newspapers less and less, it is still customary to announce an engagement in the newspaper. Be mindful of older members of the family such as grandmothers, great grandmothers and great aunts who still read the newspaper and want to clip your announcement for safe keeping.
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When announcing the engagement in places where people read it, use proper etiquette to write the announcement. For example, it is customary that the bride's parents are listed as the ones to make the announcement.
For example:
Mr. and Mrs. John Smith are pleased to announce the engagement of their daughter Jane to George Doe, son of Mr. and Mrs. John Doe.
You may include cities as well if one of the families is from outside the city where the announcement is printed. You might include a little about the bride and groom such as their education or career or where they might make their home if they are relocating after the wedding. It is no longer advisable to put the exact wedding date in print but you might say the general season or the year when the wedding is expected to take place.
Public Proposal - If the proposal has been done publicly like on a billboard, take a picture and let everyone see the sign. If the proposal has been broadcast at a sports event, tape the show and invite everyone over to see the actual proposal. It adds to the excitement and for those that did not watch the sports game, they will get a first hand look.
Written Announcements - In Victorian times, people sent formal engagement announcements. For couples who still follow strict traditions, you may wish to do the same. Pretty announcements are a regal touch for family members who live out of town and cannot attend an engagement party or gathering.
Do Not use eMail - While it is true that wedding etiquette has waned and that the internet is hugely popular, it is not acceptable to send out emails to the family announcing an engagement. These people will most likely be coming to your shower and wedding at considerable expense so a proper announcement is expected of you.
In summary, as long as you announce the engagement to the respective parties in the correct order and do not leave anyone out of the fun, be creative and make the occasion one that is memorable for all.
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